


Do you regret it?

by milkytheholy1



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Superheros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:54:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24405358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkytheholy1/pseuds/milkytheholy1
Summary: Bucky and the reader broke up on mutual terms but sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants the question is does Bucky regret it?
Relationships: Bucky Barnes/Reader
Kudos: 12
Collections: Marvel





	1. part 1

They were stood in a room together, door closed and locked so no one could intrude although knowing Tony his AI would be recording every minute of their conversation. Drama in the Avengers compound was hard to come by so anything remotely dealing with feelings sent a wave of excitement through each member. (Y/N) stood in the centre of his room her eyes drifting down to the floor to avoid his pained glaze, even though she wasn’t looking at him she knew he was angry, possibly disappointed; Bucky on the other hand was sat on the edge of his bed staring intently at her shaking form, his mind was racing a thousand thoughts per minute.

The room was in an airy silence neither wanting to make the first move, (Y/N) sucked in a some air before releasing a shaky breath. “Do you regret it?” Her eyes now only reaching his, her body language was still tense although he couldn’t blame her after what happened tense wouldn’t be the word to describe how his body felt right now. Bucky slowly started to raise from his position on the bed careful not to startle her, this was the most conversation they have had in a while it felt strange, odd even not talking to each other in such a long period of time.

“What?”

“I don’t know” her voice shook “Everything” He was quite for a long moment, heat flooded her cheeks; She opened her mouth to tell him to forget about what she said, but finally he spoke “ just because we didn’t work out doesn’t mean you weren’t the best thing that ever happened to me, because you were.” Bucky now stood infront of her gently grasping her hands and pressing a soft kiss to them, looking back into his eyes (Y/N) saw a small shine and that award winning smile. “Yeah,” she said with glistening eyes “you too” she hated the fact that she still loved him, she hated the fact that only a few moments ago she had yelled the truth to him infront of everyone else, but most of all she hated how he didn’t feel the same way at least not anymore.


	2. part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is part 2 to Do you regret it? I hope you enjoy it, I have another one planned which maybe the final it depends how I end the next one, hope you enjoy and requests are open!

An hour earlier

Another punch and he was down for the count the crowd goes wild! (Y/N) placed the dummy back up from the floor and got ready to take another swing at the poor thing, music blasting through her earphones the outside world was closed off while her own world was wide open. She couldn’t hear the others come in let alone see their stares and smiles, but that wouldn’t put (Y/N) off, she was in a good mood but she didn’t know why she just woke up feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted off of her shoulders. Pulling out her earphones the music barely audible (Y/N) turned to her fellow comrades bouncing on the tips of her toes “ So who’s ready for a bit of one-to-one action” a small chuckle left Sams lips “ Well I mean if your asking for it?” (Y/N) only rolled her eyes while Steve and Natasha smirked and stood off to the side.

The match had begun and even though Sam wasn’t as tall as Steve or a assassin like Natasha he was still pretty good with hand-to-hand combat, each time (Y/N) swung Sam would duck and vice versa. The two grew tired of their fight, ultimately Steve had ended the stalemate wishing he could have a private conversation with (Y/N); grabbing a towel and bottle (Y/N) followed Steve outside the gym into a corridor where he casually leaned against the wall a crease forming inbetween his eyebrows. “So…how you coping with the whole Bucky break up thing?” Your face turned from the happy, light smile to a miserable sadness “What do you mean I’m perfectly fine” his whole demeanour seemed to change “Oh, its just because I-“ Steve sighed moving from the wall and walking closer to (Y/N) “I don’t think Bucky is completely over it” (Y/N)’s eyes burned with rage her fists clenching “oh no he doesn’t get the chance! He ended it with me he doesn’t get a restart on this” you motioned your finger over you “he lost his chance when we said ‘we’re threw’”.

(Y/N) stormed off down the hall walking to her room to take a shower and let off some steam, walking threw the kitchen she saw Natasha sat at the breakfast bar a cup of coffee hovering above her lips. her green eyes staring intently at (Y/N) as she slowed to a stop in front of her, she kept staring not a word spoken (Y/N)’s anger still not diminishing “What is it Nat!” Her sudden outburst made Natasha smile, she placed her coffee down closed her book and took a breath “Why?” Was all she said, (Y/N)’s head tilted a little to show her confusion “Why what?”  
“Why did you and he who shall not be named split?”

“Oh” (Y/N)’s shoulders slumped she knew that hers and Bucky’s conversation was kept private, all the avengers knew was that they were no longer together; “I-I-It was mutual” was all she could muster without sounding like she could break down any minute, Natasha continued to stare the cogs moving in her brain “Bullshit, I know you still love him”.

“So what if I do? He doesn’t feel the same he was very clear about that when we broke up”

“Why did you guys break up?”

she laughed, almost painfully ”one day he loved me the next he didn’t. Strange isn’t it? How fast someone’s feelings can change and then theres nothing you can do but accept it. You have to sit and accept the fact that you’re completely in love with someone who doesn’t even give a shit whether you come or go and frankly they would rather it if you didn’t come at all, and that sucks.” Tears falling freely now landing on the marble surface creating large ponds or small rivers. Natasha enclosed her arms around (Y/N) brining her into her chest comforting her the best she could, Natasha wanted to go and punch Bucky as hard as she could, she would take that metal arm and shove it so far up his-

“You love someone?”

His deep voice bounced through the room echoing down the nearby hallway, Natasha looked up and frowned but didn’t say anything (Y/N) knew who it was without looking, years of hearing his voice by her side allowed her to pick up on his tone of voice and such. She moved away from Natasha sniffing and wiping her tears away with the back of her hand, his broad figure stood at the end of the kitchen blocking her only way out his arms were crossed over his toned chest, hair falling down the sides of his face, oh how she would have loved to move the strands back to uncover the beauty that was his face but she couldn’t…not anymore. (Y/N) moved to the other side of the counter to retrieve her belongings ignoring the winter soldier “You’re in love with someone?” He repeated again (Y/N) finally turned to face him tears threatening to fall again, she stepped closer to him before taking a deep breath.

“I hate you for giving up on me.” Bucky’s face frowned “Doll I-“ she cut him off “I hate you for giving up on us. I hate you for hurting me, I hate you for making me cry, I hate you for leaving me. I hate you for not being there when needed you the most, I hate you for what you’ve done, I hate you for making me trust you when you were just gonna break that trust. I hate you for making me love you so much, mostly, I hate you for making me a fool because I still love you despite everything you put me through.”

Bucky stood there jaw wide open his eyes a little watery, (Y/N) pushed past him and ran to her room, in the distance Bucky could hear her door slamming shut. He couldn’t move he was paralysed, the thought of you still loving him hurt; it hurt because he still loved you and he never wanted to end things but he felt like it was the right thing to do, he thought he was protecting you by breaking things off and keeping his distance. Natasha still remained in the room she witnessed the whole thing jaw slack, she watched as (Y/N) stormed away and the way Bucky froze in fear, she stood up and walked in front of him “She’s hurt, mentally and emotionally but everyday she walks with a smile, because that’s who she is, the girl who never stopped smiling.” Walking away with a sway in her hips Natasha left to find the others, though she didn’t grasp emotions as easily as others she knew (Y/N) would want alone time but at the same time she would want to see Bucky, she always did want to see Bucky.


	3. part 3

4 months ago

He loved her, he loved her with all his heart and thats why it was hard for him to even consider what he wanted to do.

(Y/N) waltzed into the room a bright smile on her face, her (H/C) hair flowing and bouncing a little as she swung herself around to land on the couch. Swiping the remote from the coffee table she turned it on and went straight to her favourite channel catching up on the re-run of friends, all week (Y/N) had been waiting for this a day where she finally got to relax and not even begin to think about going on a mission. Tony and Steve walked into the living room ranting about some sort of plan for the next stake-out, with such loud voices (even with the volume on high) (Y/N) couldn’t hear a thing producing a loud, dramatic sigh she stood up and turned the t.v off; next stop the kitchen if she couldn’t watch television then she was damn well getting food.

Usually the kitchen was quite empty but not today, everyone and their mother was here. Wanda and vision were at the stove a sweet smell coming from the pot she was stirring, Natasha and Sam were joking around at the stools, Bruce was helping Clint open a beer since he broke his arm on the last mission and Bucky…well Bucky was nowhere to be found. (Y/N) walked around the counter and sat on the chair next to Natasha “Hey (Y/N) how’s your friends marathon?” Nat questioned (Y/N) raised her hands to her face pulling down her skin as though she was melting “UHHHH, Craptain America and Iron Fart are talking EXTREMELY loud so I couldn’t hear a thing” she sighed Natasha let out a chuckle at the ridiculous nicknames she had given Steve and Tony.

Just then a figure came out from the shadows - Bucky. He walked over to (Y/N) and wrapped his arms around her waist pressing his nose to her neck “Hey baby, I didn’t know if you were gonna show up thought I would have to come find you.” He hummed against her “Ah come on man, ain’t nobody wanna see this” Sam motioned his arms to (Y/N) and Bucky “I don’t know Sam I think its kinda cute” Natasha replied with a smirk. Bucky let go and wandered over to the fridge grabbing two bottles of water, he grabbed (Y/N)’s hand and blessed everyone with a goodbye before dragging (Y/N) upstairs to their shared room.

Once the door was shut (Y/N) jumped onto the bed landing face first and erupting into giggles Bucky just watched a small smile taking frame on his face, he strolled over joining the beautiful girl on the bed and pulling her into his lap. Her arms instinctively wrapped around his neck while his went to her waist, the two sat in a moment of pure bliss; she leaned forward and kissed along his neck and up to his jaw Bucky hummed in pleasure. He moved his hands to reach up to her cheeks drawing her attention away from his jaw, (Y/N) looked up into Bucky’s blue eyes a frown making its way onto her face, his usual ocean blue eyes had a slight sadness to them one she had seen when they first started dating almost 5 months ago.

“Baby whats wrong?” Her eyes replicating his own “Nothing, it’s fine- I promise” he smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes, Bucky hoped it would fool her from the truth he hoped it was just some strange thought that would go away in a day but as the nights went on the feeling got stronger and stronger. He couldn’t do this anymore he couldn’t keep lying to himself anymore he couldn’t keep lying to her, he needed to do this, well, thats what he kept telling himself. Bucky was alone in his room pacing around, last night (Y/N) and him had watched a movie and she fell asleep while her breathing was calm Bucky watched her intently the way her hair framed her face, her plump lips, her rosey cheeks god he was so in love with this women.

“I have to do this- I can’t keep putting it off” Bucky sighed and took a deep breathe “hey (Y/N) I need to talk to you- I really need to, no that sounds too desperate…(Y/N) it’s not you it’s me no too cheesy *sighs* why is this so hard” Bucky sat down on his bed head in hands, “You’re going to break up with (Y/N)?” Steve’s voice echoed in the quite room Bucky looked up too afraid to speak releasing a shaky breath “It’s for the best Steve, she can do so much better than me she deserves someone who won’t kill her in her sleep who won’t put her in more danger someone who isn’t me” Steve shook his head “You can’t be serious Buck she loves you-“ “And I love her too!” Bucky stood up and walked to the window staring out at the busy street “I love her too Steve” it was a whisper only audible because of Steve’s super hearing.

Two weeks later

(Y/N) was sat on her bed reading a book when Bucky walked in a sad look on his face, his eyes carried huge bags and his stubble was unshaven. (Y/N) looked up from her book taking in the sight of her boyfriend “Bucky you look terrible” he smirked and sat on the bed “Thanks Doll” “No I mean- you just don’t look healthy, are you ill or something” he turned away from her and muttered “Or something”. (Y/N) pulled away from him with a questionable look on her face “What?” He sighed it was now or never, Bucky had been talking to Steve for the last two weeks trying to figure out how to end it each idea he had was either stupid, hurtful or just plain terrible. he took in a shaky breath “Baby your scaring me” he finally turned to face her, here goes nothing.

“I’m sorry”

“Sorry? Sorry for what?”

“I’m sorry for leading you on this whole time, I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now and I promise you I’ve really been trying to find a way to phrase this- it’s all I can think about everyday and every night. Lying with you besides me makes me feel so guilty I become sick and I can’t…I don’t want to keep lying to you like I have done, it’s so stupid I know, I did love you I swear I really did but now…now I don’t feel the spark that we once had and I’m truly, truly sorry for all the pain that I have caused you. You can hit me, please punch me just do something.”  
She stood there motionless, the girl who seemed unbreakable, broke. The girl who always laughed, cried. The girl who never stopped trying finally gave up. She dropped the fake smile as a tear rolled down her cheek and whispered to herself “You don’t love me? You lied to me all this time, everything we did meant nothing to you! You must have felt something at the beginning?” She had struggled to get to the door but now she stood in front of it ready to flee away from Bucky, “I did love you I just-I don’t feel the same anymore, I’ve changed” BOOM thats the moment she lost it, her tears were like a raging river. (Y/N) grabbed the door handle and was instantly out of the room leaving it open enough for Bucky to see the massive mistake he just made. His heart felt like it was lying on the floor, today marked the day Bucky Barnes became a broken man even though he thought he was doing the right thing.

Last night the sun didn’t set, it fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was hard to write, some bits seemed to flow but other bits were a struggle to get through and now im sad because I was listening to sad songs to get me into the mood, I hope you enjoy.


	4. part 4

—-The Day Of The Break-Up—-

Hearing him say those poisonous words to you made you fall, feel weak at the knees. The air was knocked out of you the walls were closing in you couldn’t handle being in the same room as him anymore you had to get out, you ran down the hall away from that cursed room, no more looking back only forward. Nat’s room wasn’t that far away you could see her and cry in her arms or maybe go find Steve…wait no not Steve most likely Bucky would already be with him.

Once reaching Nat’s room you banged on the door repeatedly tears flowing freely and staining your cheeks. Natasha opened the door to reveal a broken girl, her hands shaking, eyes puffy, lips turned upside down she looked alone. Natasha opened her arms and stroked (Y/N)’s hair shushing her, she brought the girl closer into her room closing the door with her foot, rocking (Y/N) in her arms at a gentle pace to calm her down. After a while (Y/N) stopped crying but sniffles were still heard, Natasha and (Y/N) were lying on the bed listening to soft music Nat put on to calm (Y/N) down. She looked at the girl before her someone she saw as strong, brave, fearless- she still sees all those qualities but at the same time things she never expected to see from her fear, pain, sorrow. “Do you want to talk about it?” Nat asked voice barely above a whisper as to not startle the women, (Y/N) didn’t say anything but just stared at her hands; Natasha sighed.

“Did you love him?”

That caught you off guard, you turned back to Nat her eyes reflecting sorrow a small frown on her face. You turned back and continued to stare at your fingers “Yes” was your only reply, your voice was hoarse after the crying “How much?” Natasha played with your fingers trying to get you to look at her “Does it matter?” you asked in a dull tone all emotion slipping away from you. “Why does it not?” she questioned back, finally you looked at her debating an answer some tears slipping down your cheek again when you finally stuttered an answer “Because it wasn’t enough to make him stay”.

—-Living Room—-

“Why?”

“Why what Steve?”

“Why did I agree to let you do that, why did I help you do that, why would you ever want to do that, why would you lie to her?”

Bucky looked up from his spot on the sofa reading the newspaper, Steve was stood looking out the window staring upon the city his arms folded and face full of confusion. Bucky turned his head back down to the newspaper “That’s a lot of whys pal” he said trying to lighten the mood, but the truth is the mood could never change, not the mood in the room right now or Bucky’s mood. “Well you caused them all, I just…I just don’t get it. Why would you want to lose something so good? She was the best damn thing that happened to you since Wakanda and yet here you are acting as though nothing happened.” Steve was now facing Bucky arms still crossed and a disappointed look on his face, all he wanted was to know what the reasoning behind it all was.

“You don’t think I know she was the best thing to happen to me, you don’t think I’m grateful for all the time I’ve spent with her!” Bucky threw down his paper and stood in front of Steve challenging his stature “I love that girl, there is not one thought that goes through my mind about what I just did. She’s always in my head and that is something I’m just going to have to get through, but Steve you cannot stand here and moan at me on my love life when you’ve been grovelling around here when the only person you loved is gone!” As soon as Bucky said that he paused, his eyes went wide as did Steves he wasn’t expecting him to just blow like that. Steve looked down towards his shoes then back up at Bucky “I may have lost the love of my life, but you still have yours. So yes, I’m having a go at you for dumping her because once she’s gone Bucky you would move heaven and Earth to get her back and wish she was still in your arms just like before” Steve walked away leaving behind his best friend to think over his words and hopefully do the right thing otherwise he’s lost forever.


	5. part 5

Present time

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The room still felt tense, Bucky now stood in front of (Y/N) intently staring at her face although she was looking to the ground. Today started like any normal day for him, he woke up at 6 am and went straight to his work out with Steve, then he went back to his room to take a shower by now it would have been 9 am, finally Bucky decided that he wanted some breakfast as he was walking to the kitchen he heard (Y/N) and Natasha having a conversation; at first he wasn’t trying to eavesdrop but as soon as he heard (Y/N) say she loved someone he had to make his presence clear and that when it all went wrong. She crumbled in front of him “I hate you for giving up on me.” He wanted to tell her that she could call him all the names under the sun he was just happy that she was talking to him all be it in a negative way, “but I still love you despite everything you put me through’ he was frozen, unable to move, to form a word, a decent sentence that could make her stay there with him but of course he did nothing and she ran away from him. Again.

Later on that day Bucky sat in his room the conversation with (Y/N) still replaying in his head if he said something maybe things would have been different although the last time he “said something” it ended his entire relationship. Deep in thought, Bucky didn’t even hear the small knock coming from his door, only when it opened and the bright light of the hallway illuminated the room did he care to look up, Bucky was meet with crystal (E/C) eyes slightly red from tears. The discussion between the two took a different turn than what he thought it would, Bucky assumed that (Y/N) came back to scream at him again but instead she apologised.

She trembled as she closed the door, the room once again being enclosed by the darkness of night. She had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and her hair was in a messy bun, Bucky looked at the girl with fondness in his eyes and a soft smile gracing his lips. (Y/N) looked at everything other than himself, a pained expression crossed Bucky’s face at the realisation, Bucky was too deep in thought to focus on trying to form a sentence.

“Steve told me to talk to you, said something about leaving grudges in the past or whatever” however Bucky could pick up the hesitation in her voice. (Y/N) finally looked into his desperate eyes “I’m sorry about what happened in the kitchen earlier, it’s just Nat was asking about the…the you know-”

“Breakup” it was the first time she heard him speak, even if just a word, since the kitchen incident “yeah, yeah the breakup” she whispered. “I…she kept asking all these questions and it was just all too much for me I guess, then you came in and I couldn’t hold it back anymore.” He watched her intently as she stumbled over her words clearly trying to plan what she was going to say. He couldn’t bear to see her struggle anymore and finally took over “I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have barged in like that. I heard you and Nat talking and as soon as you said you loved somebody I just..i just…i didn’t want to lose you”

“Bucky I’m not yours to lose” (Y/N) sat down next to him on the bed he leaned on his hands, pushing his hair out of his face. “I know, I know. But I just couldn’t get the image of you with some other guy out of my head, I don’t want you to know how much better you could have it” she placed her hand on Bucky’s thigh. “Bucky” she whispered “Don’t (Y/N) I ruined it for you, the whole relationship and dating thing. I’m sorry I could have done so much better” he looked down towards the floor in despair.

“I’m sorry?” (Y/N) said rather offended it only just occurred to Bucky what he said, he instantly shot up startling (Y/N) “No I didn’t mean it like that! I meant I could have treated you better I swear” he panicked waving his hands everywhere frantically. “you treated me perfectly Bucky you didn’t need to change if anything it was me who needed to change considering you broke up with me” (Y/N) glanced to the ground finding the carpet particularly interesting. “I didn’t want to” spoke Bucky, (Y/N) looked up to Bucky only to find him already gazing at her. she looked confused “Wha-what do you mean?”

“I did it because I was scared, scared that one day you would wake up and realise you could be with someone so, so much better than me. It frightened me to death knowing you could leave any day” he sighed “I remember talking to Steve about it, he said it was a terrible idea but I wouldn’t listen I was too focused on-” he let out a small laugh “I was too focused on protecting you from harm, even though in the end I was the one to hurt you” (Y/N) listened and took in what Bucky was saying, she couldn’t believe it Bucky didn’t want to end things but he thought he was doing the best thing for her.

“James Buchanan Barnes you are an absolute asshole” she laughed, Bucky loved hearing her laugh it was like an angel singing. “You really thought that dumping my ass was going to make me happy, are you crazy?”

“Crazy for you” he whispered.

(Y/N) looked into his eyes, there was a certain sparkle she saw when they were dating. (Y/N) began to lean in as did Bucky, their lips connected in a chaste kiss Bucky pulled away and smiled “God I missed that” (Y/N) laughed “me too”.

The two talked some more before cuddling up to each other in Bucky’s bed when morning came they both arrived in the kitchen “What’s that dopey look for” asked Tony. Simultaneously they raised their interjoined hands and laughed at the faces the rest of the Avengers made.

They tried to live a happy relationship that they could, being in the Avengers compound and all, the only rule to their new relationship was trusting one and another to do the RIGHT thing and for Bucky not to be a quick-minded asshole.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I might make a longer version of this but its currently 12am and I’m super tired so let me know if u wanna see more of this.


End file.
